Chapter 4 - Friendship Pt.2
Chapter 4 - Friendship Pt.2 E-mail

The Four Loves

Chapter 4 - Friendship, Pt. 2

1. Why does Lewis think friendship between a man and a woman is less likely to develop than same-sex friendship? Do you agree/disagree?

2. Have you ever observed the two scenarios Lewis describes when men and women of differing cultural/educational backgrounds attempt to form friendships?

a) the school-marm wife and her husband

b) the less-educated woman joining the men who converse about ideas

Are those scenarios as likely to occur today as in 1960 Britain?

3.  Lewis makes a strong statement: "The presence of such women [i.e. women trying to enter men's circles], . . . helps to account for the modern disparagement of Friendship."  What do you think?

4.  Why do some women regard male friendships "with hatred, envy, and fear"?  Do you think some men have a similar response to female friendships?  (Note: Lewis addresses the first question, but not the second.)

5.  Why did Lewis consider friendship a spiritual love?

6.  What aspect of friendship causes those in authority to be suspicious of it?

7.  What dangers does Lewis see in the "element of secession" and "partial indifference or deafness" common to friendships?

8.  What happens when the friendship devolves into a mere coterie that exists for its own sake?  Compare this to Lewis's commencement speech "The Inner Ring."

9.  According to Lewis, the Bible rarely uses friendship as an image of God's love.  What explanation does Lewis offer for this omission?

Two of those rare instances are Exodus 33:11 and John 15:13-15.  What does the term "friend" suggest about the relationship between Moses and God or Jesus and his disciples?

10.  How does Lewis counter the assumption that we have chosen our friends?

11.  How does a good friendship serve as God's instrument for both creating and revealing beauty?  Consider Proverbs 27:17.


Morris-dancing: a predominantly male folk dance with costumes and swords that has been part of English life for 600 years.  References to it appear in Shakespeare's works.  Morris-dancing experienced a revival in Oxford, specifically Headington Quarry, in 1899.  The revival was interrupted by WWI but returned in the late 1920s.

Jean Froissart (1337 - 1405): a clergyman who devoted himself to literature, especially romance, poetry and history.  His most famous work, Chronicles, covered the history of Europe from 1326 to 1400 and is notable for its account of the Hundred Years' War.  The work is also responsible for reviving chivalry in England and France. 

Baphomet:  an idol worshipped by the Knights Templar dating back to the 1300s.  Thought to be a French corruption of the name Muhammad. 

© 2008 by Allyson Wieland